Creative parenting 101

18 years old and he "knows-it-all"...Robert. As you may recall on Memorial Day Robert and Scotty were "kicked" out. Well, Scotty has a very high intelligence level, although he lacks motivation. Scotty gave it a week... came to Scott and I and apologized. Explained how he was not ready to be "out on his own" and how uncomfortable he was in his temporary living arrangement. Scotty asked if he could come back home. He was granted that but with the strict stipulation that he get "that room" of his under control (cleaned up) so it could be repaired and repainted; and that he either get a job or go back to college (within the time frame Scott laid out). ROBERT on the other hand...
He choose to move in with a family that has a heavy history of drug and drinking going on. As a result that is the behavior that Robert has picked up. Not a good situation. He to wants to come back home BUT.... with his younger biological brothers having problems and being "locked-up" I just could not have him "waltz" back in with these behaviors! So here comes the creative resolution!
Robert, must for the next 3 days show maturity and responsibility by making correct choices for himself. He has been given the option of proving himself prior to being allowed to return. Although he does not have a permanent place to sleep each night (or a guarantee of food) we felt this was the 1 way to encourage his personal potentials that he seems to be "over-looking". He must test for drugs through the boys probation officer. IF he tests positive after 30 days he will be kicked back out. His projected date of moving back in is this Saturday, providing he can show us he CAN be responsible. He must show up where he is expected on time. Here each day, at a specific time he will be given a hard chore. Correct completion of this chore will earn him a hot meal and a hot shower before he leaves for the night. This is to go on till Saturday or longer IF he misses a time/chore. It's his choice. He is to get a job. This is to be completed by getting applications (which he must walk to to get), filling them out and then I will provide him transportation to turn them in (at least I know that way he's dressed correctly and trying to get the job).
Yesterday he did good. Although it was the first day, it's a step in a more positive direction for Robert. He worked hard, given the simple task of hedge trimming and clean up. He completed that and went further (by his choice), weed eating and mowing the yard. I was pleased to see his determination... something I've not seen for a while. He was rewarded with his hot meal and shower as promised and a new report time for today (10am). We'll see if this new trend continues after he earns the right to move back in.
It's not easy to have to do this with these boys especially Robert! I do believe it's the hardest thing I've EVER done! TOUGH LOVE! But, boy that didn't stop the tears from flowing (from me) as he walked out the door for the night.