Seems to be that the harder I try in life to be at peace within the more the Devil dances upon me. I've tried desperately to seek sanctuary in my life, in my home yet STRESS seems to consume me. Simple things to many over take me. The children have no clue so it seems NOR do they care. The young are easily led to wrong doing, are oblivious to common courtesy and respect. It should be easy to say "Clean the Kitchen" and I assume in most families it probably still is simple. Yet in my family when they are told to do the kitchen I must provide a 3 page detailed outline on what steps it takes to clean the kitchen! To me it makes sense to want to keep a tedious job simple, something as easy as picking up whatever in the room you are in; keeping things neat as you go. However, that is not the thinking pattern of "kids" today. "If it lays there long enough "someone" else will take care of it. Why go out of my way?" They assume if something is within their room~ be it theirs or another s belonging they can "dispose" of it through various means for monetary or other gain, One specific child will trade it or sell items that do not belong to him. Items that he "KNOWS" is on loan from another family member regardless of potential consequences. I have older children that claim "they are working on getting a job". They live here "scott free" with their "extended" new family. Yet despite the enormous costs of maintaining our home will ask for money. "I can work for it". Why is it I remain so generous and now suffer alone?! With this amount of Stress I'm losing my control and as a result am fighting a nasty Shingles outbreak. It rears it's ugly head during times of enormous stress. Luckily for me it's been over 15 years since my last outbreak, but the pain this time is 10 fold! Imagine the feel of a dagger being plunged from your spine through your body~ that is the beginning. About 3 days later the rash begins to develop. The blisters follow shortly thereafter~ that is the contagious stage IF touched. The entire episode can last 3-4 weeks. The potential for prolonged continued pain can last the rest of ones life from a single attack. In advanced stages shingles can shut down organs. GOD, PLEASE don't let this go this far!
These pictures show the blister stage as well as the path of travel. By Wednesday I predict it will have made it to my mid-line on my tummy.
The rash stage began Friday. By Sunday it has traveled from my spine around my side as seen below. * NOTE extreme difficulty in taking pictures of my back single handedly. LOL
Oh Tina I will be praying for you! Try to be faithful to the Lord not only in prayer but also in church and bible study. He always takes care of His children. Most people think that is the case no matter how they live their life but you really need to be faithful and give your life to Him. I am not saying your doing something wrong or not living for God by any means because I do not know that. Your relationship with God is between you and Him only. Even His children have trials in life we dont understand but we are lucky to have a Lord that will help us through it and we can ask "why?". God Bless you and if you need anyone to talk to I am always willing.
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